On the Cruel Cycle of Not Dealing With Your Shit

We've all got problems. Every single one of us. Doesn't matter how you were raised, where you live, where you're from, whether you're rich or poor, what race or gender identity or age or religion or social standing. You've got problems. Of course, any one of those things on the aforementioned list can deeply impact, influence, and spur those problems. But none of those things change this pure and simple fact: Problems. You got 'em. I got 'em. We all got 'em.

Biggie's problem was Puffy hogging all the fish-eye lens-time.

Problems are just as varied and unique as the people who have them, but I've found that there are three main kinds:

1. Problems Caused by You
2. Problems Caused by Other People/Factors
3. Problems Caused by You Not Dealing With the First Two Kinds of Problems

(Author's Note: The third kind of problem is still, technically, a problem caused by you, but I find that it presents itself in one's life completely differently than the first kind, and thus, deserves a category all its own. But more on that later.)

My job is often about helping people through their problems. I have worked extremely hard to make each and every process about the person I'm assisting and not about me, and I've also worked extremely hard to make sure I'm not trying to save anybody from their problems. For years, these two things were my pitfalls as a helper, which, if you know anything about me at all, speak to my own problems. My problems are a result of events in my life - events that have shaped and molded who I am, things that I have done to myself, both good and bad, and things that have been done to me, also good and bad. At 27 years old, I am the product of my current and past environments - family, social, work - and I am the product of current and past problems and triumphs. Some of these things are my choice, and some of these things have not been my choice. But I am absolutely a product of it all.

We, as humans, do not exist in vacuums. Us, our problems, and our existences do not exist without context.

For the purposes of this discussion, let's talk about the bad stuff, or, as I like to call it: The Shit That We Carry. The shit that I carry refers to my baggage (specifically addiction, death, heartbreak, being used, being hurt physically, being hurt emotionally, being betrayed, being silenced, being afraid). Baggage, like problems, is something everybody has. Shit, like problems, is something everybody carries. Nobody lives a life devoid of problems, of baggage, of shit. Our world isn't set up like that, and I have learned that it probably won't change. People will do cruel things to themselves, and they will do cruel things to each other.

How much will all this baggage cost to ship internationally?